elroseabel

Was just browsing through Etsy and came across some really cute jewelry…

i was amazed although i have seen some around before at markets and wondered how to make such amazing things. 

Polymer clay! i really want to get my hands on some now so i can have a play around with it and see what i can come up with. 

Still doing some research on this interesting material and how to use it. Would also love to make more accessories like bows and keychains.

I’m now excited for many things this year. New house, new furniture, new art…and new hobby! new friends would be nice too. been feeling a bit rejected and lonely but we’ll see. these things take time. just hoping for the best this year. omg seeing deftones on sunday! aahhhhh!!! 

so you’re looking through your tumblr dashboard. you’re eyes keep scrolling through perfect girls with perfect bodies and perfect faces. you then come across a photo of a topless girl with her rib cage showing and her flat stomach. you look at yourself and think…holy shit i am so fat. even though you only weigh 58 kilos and your thighs only slightly touch. you then type “thin beautiful” into the search tab and your eyes bulge at the screen and you think “YES I WANT TO BE AS THIN AS THIS GIRL!” (looking at some emo girl with a stick figure)

i want to rant about girls being insecure about their body. it’s perfectly normal! but hating your body can get to a certain extent that makes me laugh.

the word “thinspiration”. WTF. i first discovered this word on youtube. i was viewing a video because it had one of my favourite songs playing in it then realised it was about anorexic girls and how the compilation of photos are “inspirational” to become thin. Seriously?! so i commented the video and got angry replies from teenage girls saying “you don’t understand the concept!” or “you don’t understand i am depressed!” well they were right! i didn’t understand at all why they would be viewing disgustingly thin photos of some poor anorexic people thinking it could inspire them to become skinnier. anorexia is an eating disorder and girls who suffer from it surely don’t think they’re beautiful because they want the exact same thing. beauty. 

i’m not a thin girl per say but i’m not chunky either. i have my days where i loathe my body and wish i could just look good in some nice jeans and tight top but then most days i’m like…fuck that, i like my loose tops and fun skirts. i’m content with my figure. i could be fitter but i’m happy with who i am. it just makes me cringe to know that some girls actually document or make stupid youtube videos of photos that expose a serious illness. i understand if you want to be thin as in have a flat stomach and have no arm fat or nice legs but don’t look at an anorexic girl and think…fuck yes! i am gonna be that skinny! i hate myself! yay! eat healthily and exercise. or if you can’t be fucked like me, just pick out clothes that suit your body shape. haha.

end of rant.

I will swim through the city just so I can go shopping. Ahhh…dreaming of an enchanted underwater world (:

“think you’re giving but you’re taking my life awayyyy”

I can’t stop listening to this. It’s so perfect.

I wish I was a heels kinda chick. Wear them all the time without feeling uncomfortable or paranoid.

This is the billionth time I’ve done this. Got up early to go to work and realize I don’t start til later. Back home and eating cookies to make me feel better.

feeling sad. I lost good friends but I didn’t do anything…maybe that’s why i don’t have them anymore. siiigh.

i think i like today. i think it’s good.